It’s 6:50am right now. I fell asleep at around 1:00am and woke up at 3:00am and couldn’t fall back to sleep. I think it was the anti-nausea medication that’s keeping me up. I hear it’s a kind of a steroid, but I’ll ask the doctor about that later. I wasn’t able to sleep on the first night either, and that night, it was probably because the room was too warm. So, I am officially having problems sleeping. I have NEVER had problems sleeping. I now understand why they’ve been offering me sleeping pills since my first day here. I’m taking them up on the offer tonight. I can’t go on so little sleep in such a critical period in my life. It can’t be good for my recovery.
Today is the second day of chemo, same drugs as the previous day. As it is being infused into my body, it feels quite benign. No pain or any sensation whatever to speak of, and yet, I know it’s slowly killing me. And I’m willingly letting it happen. How nice.
Daniel, my mom, dad and sister are taking turns taking care of me at the hospital. I’m sure it’s taking a toll on them, mentally and physically. I said to my sister, “If I were Daniel, I’d divorce me.” Being the primary caregiver is no small task. This is where the wedding vow, “…in sickness or in health, till death do we part…” is REALLY tested.
On admit day, a friend of my sister’s came by for a brief visit. She works here at PMH, at the radiology department. She brought a friend who also works here at the radiology department. And she brought me all sorts of wonderful fashion/beauty magazines. It was such a nice gesture, as I didn’t even know them. Such acts of kindness can really make a person’s day. God bless them!
I also want to acknowledge Michelle Worman and her team of “hosts” at bmtsupport.org. I met them via their chatroom, which is held 3 times a week. Without their ongoing support (i.e., been there, done that, let me tell you what REALLY happens during a bmt), I would not have made it this far emotionally. Michelle even sent me a care package in anticipation of my admission. She and her team do absolutely great work. God bless them too!
Over the next few days, I think I’m going to take the opportunity to write as much as I can before the side effects kick in. These days, my motto for life is, “If there’s something you can do today, don’t leave it till tomorrow, cause you never know what will happen tomorrow.” So, there may be several posts from me during the course of the day, as many as I can fit in between my rounds of chemo, multiple showers, meals, vitals, meds, etc…
I AM SO SLEEPY BUT I CANNOT SLEEP! But I am grateful that I can still eat, and am pain-free, at least for the next couple of days.