Day+18

Hello everyone, it’s me, Winnie. After so many days of “MIA”, I am finally ready physically and mentally to write this post. I am aware of the outpouring of support over these past several weeks. I know many of you have sent messages and texts, if not to me, to Daniel to ask how I was doing. Thank you very much but sorry I was not able to respond to them. I was really feeling totally awful. I am slowly feeling better now and I hope the trend continues.

As you may know, I was hit particularly hard by nausea and vomitting. I still suffer it now, but instead of 24 hrs. a day, it’s more like 12 hrs. a day, so they are trying to manage it with medicine. And I have some time during the day where I’m not in my bed in a fetal position.

There are many other side effects of the chemo but not nearly as debilitating as the nausea and vomiting. For example, my taste buds are gone – everything tastes disgusting (Sorry, I misspoke, this one is VERY debilitating). I really hope this will come back soon. Then there’s the palms of my hands and soles of my feet – they burn like I had a sunburn in Cozumel. Then, there’s the chemo tan, where certain parts of my skin turn an ugly grayish tone. And of course, my hair, it’s falling off. But at least the latter two do not hurt.

There is talk that I will be discharged in the next few days, so long as I am able to take my medicine orally and keep them down. This includes food as well. I haven’t eaten solid food in weeks. When you don’t eat solid food in weeks and when you’re vomitting so much, you lose your ability to eat and keep things down. They keep reminding me how it’s like trying to feed a 14-day baby solid food – it ain’t gonna work! I think in the next few days I’ll have this under control.

I can’t thank my mom and Daniel enough over these past few weeks. Both of them helped me out a lot, especially Daniel, who had to come to the hospital every day and then afterwards, had to do my laundry and cook me food every night. And he had to clean the house for showing – I know, bad timing but it was out of our control. He’s exhausted.

Most of all, I thank the Lord for his Mercy, on my body and my soul. Half of the battle was staying strong mentally. And boy, was that difficult to do. Cancer is not something you would ever wish on anyone, even your worst enemy. It is truly an ugly disease.

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8 Responses to Day+18

  1. Cheryl Thornton says:

    Winnie!!!! It’s so good to know that you are well enough to post…You had us all pretty worried.

    The not being able to eat is bad. I had the same problem with the nausea and vomitted for days upon days…but really try to eat if you can. Using plastic utensils helps to take away some of the tinny taste so stay away from metal ones. Eat whatever you can even if that means the same things for days…I ate more watermelon than anything…for me it tasted the most like normal and it also served to quench my thirst because drinking also brought on nausea for me. I had the feeding tube through the nose and into the stomach and that liquid food did nothing but make me feel more nauseous so really eat girl eat!!!! LOL

    Your engraftment must have happened if they are talking about releasing you. But you can’t be having people going through your house especially since you don’t know if they are “sick” or not and you can’t be out in the general population too much at this point. SO BE CAREFUL!!!!

    Sending prayers to you for continued progress.

    • helpsavewinnie says:

      Sorry Cheryl, I got you guys all worried. I engrafted on May 7th or thereabouts so I think that’s pretty early. Yes, I’ll be in quarantine at home for another 2 or 3 months or so, just to be safe. So far, no talk of feeding tube yet. I have been able to eat soups and Ensure and they are happy with that. Hope my posts will be more and more regular!

      Winnie

  2. Father Bill says:

    Good to see your note Winnie. You are obviously still on a difficult journey but be assured my prayers and those of the parish are with you. God is with you!!

    Fr Bill

    • helpsavewinnie says:

      Thank you Father Bill, for following my journey. I wish so much to be back at the parish. Thank you for your prayers and those of the parish. I do need them! Please keep them coming! Thank you and thanks be to God!

  3. bdworman says:

    Winnie,
    So awesome to hear from you. I am thrilled that you are “on the other side” of the treatment. Try the stress ball on your hands..it sure helped me. I hope you feel up to coming to chat soon, we sure miss having you in there. I hope the trend continues and that you can go home!
    God bless, and lots of love from Lubbock,
    Michelle~www.bmtsupport.org

  4. Lucina Chao says:

    Oh, it’s just great to see you can blog again! The fact that you give thanks and praise the Lord even in this most difficult time confirms my belief that He must be closely and lovingly watching over you. You are in good hands. Will continue to pray for your full recovery.

  5. Margaret Hutter says:

    Winnie – so happy to see you are posting on your site. Stay positive and know we are all thinking and praying for you!

  6. Chris says:

    Winnie!!! Thank God! It is so nice to hear from you! I could not imagine how much you have suffered but I feel you were reborn after this much of suffering. Please stay strong and I will continue to pray for you!

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