Hello everyone, it’s me, Winnie. After so many days of “MIA”, I am finally ready physically and mentally to write this post. I am aware of the outpouring of support over these past several weeks. I know many of you have sent messages and texts, if not to me, to Daniel to ask how I was doing. Thank you very much but sorry I was not able to respond to them. I was really feeling totally awful. I am slowly feeling better now and I hope the trend continues.
As you may know, I was hit particularly hard by nausea and vomitting. I still suffer it now, but instead of 24 hrs. a day, it’s more like 12 hrs. a day, so they are trying to manage it with medicine. And I have some time during the day where I’m not in my bed in a fetal position.
There are many other side effects of the chemo but not nearly as debilitating as the nausea and vomiting. For example, my taste buds are gone – everything tastes disgusting (Sorry, I misspoke, this one is VERY debilitating). I really hope this will come back soon. Then there’s the palms of my hands and soles of my feet – they burn like I had a sunburn in Cozumel. Then, there’s the chemo tan, where certain parts of my skin turn an ugly grayish tone. And of course, my hair, it’s falling off. But at least the latter two do not hurt.
There is talk that I will be discharged in the next few days, so long as I am able to take my medicine orally and keep them down. This includes food as well. I haven’t eaten solid food in weeks. When you don’t eat solid food in weeks and when you’re vomitting so much, you lose your ability to eat and keep things down. They keep reminding me how it’s like trying to feed a 14-day baby solid food – it ain’t gonna work! I think in the next few days I’ll have this under control.
I can’t thank my mom and Daniel enough over these past few weeks. Both of them helped me out a lot, especially Daniel, who had to come to the hospital every day and then afterwards, had to do my laundry and cook me food every night. And he had to clean the house for showing – I know, bad timing but it was out of our control. He’s exhausted.
Most of all, I thank the Lord for his Mercy, on my body and my soul. Half of the battle was staying strong mentally. And boy, was that difficult to do. Cancer is not something you would ever wish on anyone, even your worst enemy. It is truly an ugly disease.